Thicke.org

I got this in my email tonight. I thought I’d comment on it some..

The Guys’ Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty good.)

We always hear “the rules” from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note…these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

Because we can’t count??????

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

How about a compromise? We both leave the seat and the lid down. It seems kinda gross to me leaving the lid open all the time to me anyway.

1. Sunday sports.
It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Yeah……As long as the Braves are playing. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter much to me.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

HM……..Yes, it’s shopping. But it can be as exertive as a sport if you let it.

1. Crying is blackmail.

And it works for me every time.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Yeah……I agree here.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

OK….That true for at least “yes and no” questions. I think you should not expect much more of an answer from these.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Solving it is our way of giving sympathy. If the problem is resolved, it’s no longer a problem. We really are trying to help.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Yes…….Anything that hurts and lasts for more than one month is a problem. SEE A DOCTOR!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become void after 7 days.

Seven days????? SEVEN DAYS!!?!?!?!?!?! I think someone has given us guys too much credit.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t
expect us to act like soap opera guys.

UM……OK……. What woman in her right mind would want her man to act like a lying, cheating soap opera guy?

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

Because once you ask, we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Always…..We never want to make you sad or angry. Because you won’t let us forget it for the rest of our lives.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Our way might not be the best way. But it’s the way we want to do it. Just let us get on with it.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Huh? What?

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

I was a Boy Scout…….

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

I have a friend who really is color blind. He has his wife pick out his clothes for him so they’ll match. I keep waiting for the day when they don’t match. Then we’ll know he made his wife mad.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We like comfort…….

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like
northing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

So tell us what’s wrong. Don’t get us to pry it out of you. We’re not good at that….

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an
answer you don’t want to hear.

We’ll tell the truth, unless it will make you sad or angry (see rule #1).

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine…Really.

We just want to go……

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

Shotgun formation? I’m more of a “shotgun rules” kind of guy. Also, don’t forget Star Trek…..

1. You have enough clothes.

Are you kidding???? My wife is Filipina.

1. You have too many shoes.

Ah…..That’s more like it.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Amen!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight;
but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

I hate camping……